The gas tank half empty…actually fully empty
There’s something humbling about the sensor in my gas tank turning on.
It’s Friday, and I have been at school from 9am to 9pm. I worked for half the day, attended an event for a school certification, then went to a flute concert so I could write an essay on it. My brain is fried and I can only think of one thing: I just want to melt on my bed and drift away to sleep.
I finally get to my car, eager to go home and unwind after a long week, when suddenly the gas sensor turns on. The light glares at me, almost as if it’s shouting, “Hey you, can you see me now? You can’t ignore me!”
This sensor light makes me feel ashamed for some reason.
It makes me feel like I am broke (given the high costs of gas prices this year), and I cannot afford to go anywhere.
It feels like every time I step out my door, life demands that I spend an average fifty dollars a day as a fee for living out in the world.
It makes me feel like I am not on top of things. I never want to drive around with an empty gas tank and risk having the car break down in the middle of the highway. I always want to be prepared for for everything. The taunting light just shows that I cannot do everything at all times and that’s just a harsh reality.
In the end, I did not break down on my drive home. I made it home and went to bed. I put gas in the tank the next day.
The world didn’t end because my gas sensor turned on. It was just fine and kept spinning.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that everything is going to be fine when something small goes wrong, but it’s fine. Perhaps we just need to get a good night’s sleep and keep going at it the next day.
Sending you a hug,
-Cristina.